In regards to business you might hear "why her and not me?" or how about "well, she must have cheated her way to the top." In regards to fitness "oh, you must have edited that photo" or "it's just the camera angle" or "must be nice." People either don't realize the amount of HARD WORK that goes into success, or they just want to discount anything someone else does, no credit is given where credit is due!
I feel like there's always so much comparison "out there" in the world, and especially on social media. It seems that some can't be happy for others who are succeeding. And I've always said, Comparison is the Thief of Joy! Try to resist comparing your journey through life to someone else's, we just never know what they've got going on in the life that you don't see on social media.
When you find the right TRIBE (your people) you'll find that some people don't want to compete with you at life! This tribe of people have a love for others, so much so that they love to see other people succeeding, winning at life! Those are the people you need to surround yourself with! Your cheerleading squad, the ones that will always lift you up and be happy in your success. And push you in a GOOD way to be the best person you can be. Sometimes guys, we gotta let the negative go and just pour ourselves into those people who want us to be happy and healthy! Life is too short to compete with others, be genuinely happy when you see success in someone else! And always try to be your personal best, which isn't going to to be the same as anyone else's, cause you are so uniquely YOU, and you rock!!!
Eeeek! This is exciting! My Mentor, Kim, and myself will be hosting a LIVE LIVE LIVE Sneak Peek into coaching this Wednesday on Facebook. You can log in and see us LIVE on video and also be able to ask questions in real time. The videos are saved and you can then access them at any time, and still comment with your question even after the event has concluded.
In The BelieveFit Empire, we are a team of women, moms, sisters who strive to build one another up, encourage & serve others, and build a legacy for our families. Together, we set goals, commit to the process, persevere, and change lives!
Wonder what it means to be a Beachbody Coach? This is where we will share a "sneak peek" behind the curtain. You'll get insight into how a coach earns income, what a day in the life of a coach looks like, and we will even share what our concerns were coming into this business (i.e. No, you don't need to be a salesperson to be successful!)
Check back this Wednesday evening, for a LIVE one hour glimpse to learn about an opportunity that can change your fitness, your finances and your life. The event will take place right on this page, and we are opening spots for 5 go-getters to personally mentor as new coaches on our team!
What can we do to be a better mom? Sheesh, probably a million things right? That's what you're thinking. That's what I would be thinking. I want to challenge you today to think about your priorities. And pick FIVE. Only five. These are your 5 priorities for this week. You get these 5 done before you do anything else. And actually, you probably won't get to anything else, and that's okay. Before you start thinking of your 5, let me elaborate... read on...
Moms, we are overstretched!!! We commit to 9 million things and we don't have the time for 9 million things! And most those things, we put before our kids... I'm guilty. I have a hard time saying "no." to other people and to myself, but it's easy to say "no" to my kids.
Check out this excerpt from the eBook "Mom Enough."
"Years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law. Children rank way below college. Below world travel. Below nightlife. Below physical tness. Below a career. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing...Motherhood is not a hobby, it’s a calling. You do not collect children because you nd them cuter than stamps. You do not raise children if you can squeeze the time in. Motherhood is what God gave you time for."
OUCH!!!! What have you put before your kids?
Read on...
"Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.
Our culture is afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, and that your freedom will die. Abortion tries to escape that death by running into the arms of death.
But Christians should have a different paradigm. We should run to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have by yourself. Lay them all down.
Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is a resurrection life, a life that cannot be contained by death, a life only possible when you have been to the cross and back.
The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loves them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord.
We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.
The Question Is How
The question here is not if you are representing the gospel, but how you are representing it. Do you give your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally everything you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gives it to us—freely?
It isn’t enough to pretend, though you might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car. Children know the difference between a mother who is saving her face to a stranger and a mother who is defending her children’s lives with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.
Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.
Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone." Again, this is an excerpt from the book Mom Enough, and you can find the entire article here
Do you see what I mean about priorities now? Your priorities are probably going to be more focused on PEOPLE, and less focused on TASKS. There are some things we are going to have to let go. Maybe you buy store bought cupcakes instead of spending hours baking them yourself. They are just going to get eaten anyways! How important is it? Now, this is just an example, if baking them yourself is something that makes you a more joyful parent, and your kids love it, by all means. But think about other things that you might need to let go of, or say no to...
So, my 5:
God
Husband
Kids
My business
Family/friends
That's it. What's your 5? How about an exercise to apply this concept to real life... cause we all know we are busier than 5 things...
Think about something with me... the last time you snapped at your child, what were you doing?
The last time you felt completely down as a mother, what were you doing?
The last day when you struggled to be joyful, what was going on?
I'm going to argue that we are just too darn busy. When I snap at my child, I'm distracted. I'm focusing on something else and she is getting in the way. She has "annoyed" me in that moment. Eeek. That's harsh. But yes, I'm reading something, I'm scrolling through Facebook, I'm cooking dinner, I'm tending to my other children, I'm BUSY on something and she's tugging at me. Snap!
And THAT makes me feel completely down as a mother. I've let her down. I've let myself down. I just treated my child as an annoyance. I suck. The voice in my head is fierce! Mama, give yourself a break first off... second, how can we ensure this doesn't happen?
So for me... The last day I struggled to be joyful, I was feeling overwhelmed!! It's hard to be joyful when you're inundated with your to do list!
But if I can put her in my top 5, I mean REALLY put her in my top 5, not just say "yea my kid is my number 1 priority..." be honest with myself and really put her at the top, it helps me to feel more fulfilled as a mother. She's taken care of! So I feel more successful.
Could it be your child asking "are you even happy to be a mom?"
My take away message from it: The truth is, the one thing that I had been forgetting to give my children all this time was a mother who genuinely enjoyed just being a mom.
So, how does this create joy in my home? When my family feels comforted and loved, guess what, it takes those awful days down a notch! It lightens my sassy 5 year old's attitude, it removes conflict with my teen over grades and his schedule, it removes conflict with my husband because he feels like he's a priority to me. And the joyfulness, it follows along... less bad days, more joyful mom.
People like to say that the only two constants in this life are death and taxes. I beg to differ, God is a constant. The things that God has given us, constant. The sun rises every single day, for example, because He said "let there be light." If we think about that for a second, every single day, we count on the sun coming up, there's never a day that it just fails to rise. It's a sure thing! We can take it for granted though, most definitely.
In Hosea 6:3, God says that as SURELY as the sun will rise, He will appear. And he will come to us like rain to the Earth. Whoa. So we can count on Him coming to us when we call, without fail, because it's as sure as the sun will rise! Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to Me and I will answer you..." God will listen to your every prayer. Call upon him, and He'll be there as surely as the sun rises. And what will He provide? Rain. Spring rain. The kind that completely rejuvenates and refreshes the air, the soil, all living things. It cleans, brightens, and restores.
If you're feeling completely despaired, call on Him. He'll refresh your soul like rain refreshes the Earth. It's a constant. It's a sure thing. God does not ever withhold himself.
If you haven't yet, take a minute to read this blog entry. http://foreverymom.com/mom-gold/exhausted-overwhelmed-depressed-mom/
I just think it's so awesome. And if we dig deeper into Elijah's story (1 Kings 17-19) we learn that Elijah called upon God. But not to refresh him, he asked to die. Elijah was so tired, scared, he was an old guy, on the run from Jezebel, the last of the Lord's prophets, she had all the others killed. He was just done. God came to him, but he didn't give him what he asked. You see, God has his own plan for us. He knows what you truly need. For Elijah, it wasn't death, it was sleep, food, a friend, and moment to refocus, to remember how special he was. God came to him in a still small voice, and Elijah could hear it. Elijah (with Elisha) went on! He came from wanting to DIE, to feeling rejuvenated and moving forward.
How can we apply this to our Momlife? Is there a time you can remember when you felt totally NOT cut out for this position of mommy? Take a second to answer in the thread below. For me, numerous times. I think often, moms feel like failures. We have such high expectations when that baby is kicking inside us, but then, it's hard! Your infant doesn't sleep, maybe has colic, fussy baby, there are joyful moments, and there are tough moments. And that trend continues for-ev-er. And in those tough moments, we feel like failures. We want what's best for our babies, and we don't think we're it! These moments of complete feeling of failure happen to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US GOOD MAMAS! We feel like a failure BECAUSE we want all good things for our kids. By very definition, that's a good mom.
HOW TO CHOOSE JOY: Next time we are feeling this way? What can we do? I challenge you to STOP, DROP, and PRAY. Call out to Him. He's the everlasting spring that can quench your thirst. He will clean, brighten, and restore you like spring rain, He will not withhold Himself, His ability, to the child that calls upon him.
CALL TO ACTION: Today/tonight, I challenge you to call on Him. You can say ANY prayer, He will listen. If it's been a while since you prayed, don't hold back. Say something to Him.
Moms, if you're dying to stay home with your kids, please believe in yourself! You CAN start your own business, you can make it great! You can change your circumstances.
Don't just start any business. Start a business where you can help others, fuel your own health and fitness, and feel like you're doing something WORTHWHILE.
We only get one life, don't look back when you're 50 and your kids are grown and realize you missed the best part. Take a chance and do this with me, I'll help you, and you and your children are so worth it.
I just love this
And one thing that I've noticed in talking with other moms, some are just not fulfilled by their 9-5 and want MORE. More time with their kids, more time with the family, more hours in a day! But we can't add hours to the day to fit in work and kids, we've gotta change the work.
Wanna be happy? The key to being happy is dreaming big for yourself but also recognizing what you have. A grateful heart finds blessings in the seemingly mundane everyday life. We cannot let what we want overshadow what we have. Do you have a tendency to not look on the bright side? Me too. I'm like Donald Duck "why does this always happen to me?" That's where gratitude comes in. It shifts our attitude and our mindset.
But how? I've been eager to start a gratitude journal and I would like to share the steps with everyone who wants to also create one! Join me in this challenge as we create our journals and learn how being grateful each day can change our outlook on life.
How Gratitude Can Improve Your Life
Is your natural reaction to focus on the negative?
* My life is so difficult
* Why me?
* I wish I had the new… insert item here
* Why do normal tasks seem so stressful, why can't (insert anything) this just be easy?
The focus on the negative draws our attention far from the positive. I'm not an optimist, so this is really hard for me! But the problem is, when we overlook the positive, we can start to take people, moments, things for granted.
The Benefits of Gratitude
1. Increase Happiness – Whoo hoo! Prof. Robert Emmons, one of the top researchers in Positive Psychology says that practicing gratitude can increase your Happiness by 25%. Emmons says, “a few hours writing a gratitude journal over 3 weeks can create an effect that lasts 6 months if not more” – um, WOW. Can we invest ten minutes a day to have that kind of lasting happiness?! Heck yea!
2. Reduce Negative Emotions – yes please.
3. Improve your health. Improves health, wellness, attitude, and energy too!
4. Improves Relationships. Remember how we can take people for granted? You might already be doing this to a spouse, parent, child, friend.
5. Improve Your Outlook for the Future. Having a positive outlook can transcend into working harder toward your goal (or even starting one) because you feel there is a better chance to succeed!!! Gratitude changes our LIMITING BELIEFS of ourselves.
6. Improves Sleep – Hallelujah!
7. Reduces worry!
8. Makes you a better person. A person people WANT to know. Wow.
I know I don't want to miss out on these 8 benefits in my life. Do you???
Join me in a Gratitude Challenge by messaging me on Facebook at FB.com/fromfaith2fitness or send me an email at Jalene.Cabrales@gmail.com. We start October 15.
Hey moms! This group is super close to my heart because it's something I really struggle with. You see, all my life I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Obviously I did not know the difficulty of it, only the rewards! Now, I can still see the rewards, but the difficulty and struggles creep up on me daily. I have to be reminded to choose joy, which I NEVER thought I would need, I mean, aren't moms just joyful about their "jobs" every moment of every day because we are so uber- blessed?? And we NEVER have weak moments where choosing joy is hard? And we always act as if we have the best job in the entire world?? Not really, we get stuck in the trenches of daily battles and it happens to ALL of us, so there's no need to feel shameful.
WHY SHOULD YOU BELONG TO A CHALLENGE GROUP LIKE THIS?
1. ACCOUNTABILITY! Oh man, this is a biggie. If no one sees what's going on in your Momlife on a daily basis, who is holding you accountable to be joyful? Imagine this, you're at church. You're little darling is acting up. You are SO careful about the way you handle the situation because there are people watching!!! Your kid is LUCKY that you aren't home! You still discipline, of course, but in a more mindful way. You've had that experience and so have I. We act differently at home. Not because we are fake, but because we can give into the struggle when no one sees it. Sometimes we just lose it! So, being in a group like this holds us accountable to be joyful in our homes. We'll check in daily and be reminded to choose joy amidst the chaos. Of course our children will still get "the eye" and discipline, being joyful isn't about not disciplining, it's about loving on our kids the way God intended. And we'll dig into that in the first week!
2. NEW PERSPECTIVE AND IDEAS. You and the other moms in this group are good moms, you've already proved it by seeking to be in the group. No more proof is necessary. We can share ideas with other moms here, because when we are left alone with our ideas for too long, they become stale.
3. SUPPORT. Hallelujah. Being a mom can be an isolating lifestyle, whether you're a stay at home, work at home, or working mom. It's lonely. And sometimes you may feel like no one "gets" you. Just hearing that other people share the same struggles can be really reassuring. This group will have a zero tolerance policy on judgement. You already know judgement is for Jesus, not for us. You aren't here because you'll never again have a struggle or a moment where you completely lose it. You're here because you want to challenge yourself to be more fulfilled as a mommy! Plus, while it's helpful to receive support, it's also a powerful source of happiness to provide support to others.
Also, not everyone has the means to attend a mom's group at a church. My vision for this group is to make it sort of a virtual mom study.
4. FUN! It's fun to belong to a group, meet new people, try something new! It's especially enjoyable when you're talking about a topic that is so important and intimate as being a joyful parent.
Today is STATurday in my fitness groups! Here's my pic for today.
Goals for October:
Increase workouts to more challenge
Use weights
Build muscle tone
Lose 5 pounds
I've been doing Country Heat and Yoga. I'm 5 months post partum next week. Nursing, so I have to be really careful with nutrition. Still have a pregnancy pooch going on, which is all about the clean nutrition and workouts. I cannot do any ab work yet (c section) and again I'm being super careful with nutrition, can't go too lean. My son's milk is most important.
I haven't added weights yet. To be honest, I'm terrified. I have some pain still, not bad, but uncomfortable and I don't want to hurt myself. I've also had some back pain from my spinal, so trying not to aggravate it. But it's time to build some strength back and I'm hoping that will help my back to be stronger and mid section to be leaner. I lost so much muscle tone with 4 months of bedrest and then c section recovery.
Hoping to see some great results this month! What are your goals?
Momlife. It's one phrase that has become so popular in 2016. Seriously, go to the hashtag, you'll see all the #momlife entries. But what is momlife? Some bloggers would have you think that it's this amazing experience that only the best of the best can appreciate, some would have you thinking that momlife is the most exhausting, life sucking experience you've ever embarked on.
I say, it's a daily challenge. Every single day, I'm presented with something new. It's never boring. And it can be amazing and draining at the same time. We moms have to accept the challenge to choose joy every single day, even if we step on that same lego for the 15th time. Why? Because our kids DESERVE a joyful parent.
I struggle. You struggle. Let's support each other and learn some strategies to always be able to see the gospel in our kids, to choose joy daily, and to end the mommy wars that are another popular battle these days. None of us has it all right. But all of us can enjoy the ride with a joyful heart. It's HARD, I know, I'm in it. But I also know that my children are my WORLD. And they should feel that way.
This group will be faith based, offer daily accountability, support, prayers, and readings and tips to put your best foot forward for your children. To choose joy! It's an online group that will mimic what you would find in a MOPS group study, but online to work with our schedules! I have a study book for the material that I will be presenting, and some of my own thoughts and readings and scripture that have touched my heart as a mother.
I posted a pic on my page earlier in the week about how as a mom, my hobbies include peeing alone, choosing my battles, and making food (that no one eats). Y'all thought it was funny, and I know that is because you can totally relate (or you can't relate and you just feel sorry for this "mom" species). But it's the truth, mom's rarely get any actual ME time, we are constantly cleaning something, stepping on a toy, helping someone do one of 9 million various things, feeding someone, and just really serving other people in some way. And it's all very mundane (shhh, don't tell my kids)... it's the best job in the world, a life mission more than a job, but boy are the days long.
Most days, I feel like at the end of the day, what did I do today? Like what did I honestly get accomplished? The toys I cleaned up this morning, they've made their way back to the same spot in the middle of the floor. I dumped food in the trash while there are children out there who are starving... but, the years are SHORT. And one day, it will be over and I'll be longing for toys sprawled out everywhere (okay, maybe). I don't want to miss a THING! Heck no, I won't be at some 9-5 working for someone else while my kids long for me at home. Just no. And furthermore, I want to give my babies the world! I want to take them on vacations, I want to provide experiences.
I am raising some beautiful children who will hopefully add their own value to this world. But, shouldn't I lead by example?
Proverbs 22:6 Bring up a child by teaching him the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn away from it.
My me time is two fold. I've got my health and fitness, and I've got my business. Both provide me with time to feel refreshed and significant. When I first started this coaching business, I wanted to help people with fitness and health. To feel comfy in their own skin. Because of the amazing things it's done in my life. Now it's so much bigger. I want to help people get healthy but more so I want to lead you to the water. To show you how you can be PRESENT in your children's lives! I want to share every glorious thing about this business, because I really feel like I've found, more like stumbled across, the golden ticket. Helping other people get healthy, helping myself stay accountable to my health, and leading people to find their worth and invest more time with their families. I have the ability to add value to the world, to someone else's life. Even though you're a mom who cleans up the same toys all day long, even though you feel so insignificant, I'm here to tell you that YOU can add value to someone else's life. There's someone out there who is dying to meet you, your stories relate, she could be you, and she's desperately searching for a way to feel like she's doing something awesome with her life. She wants some me time. She is completely grateful to raise her amazing children, but she's looking for a way to put her stamp on the world beyond being "Mom." Because one day, those babies will be up and out, then what? If you don't help her, who will?
So if you desperately need some ME time, get into a health and fitness program and plug into a challenge group to meet other like minded friends. The best thing you can do is get your me time while also bettering your health. And if you're looking to add value to the world, other than raising incredible children, and looking to show your children that they can be a shining light in someone else's life, then be a coach. This business is for ANYONE. If I can do it, you can do it. I'm an introvert, I have my anxiety struggles, I've got 4 kids, and I'm BUSY. I don't know a lot of people. I don't have a bowling league or some group that I'm involved in. I'm not a salesperson. So believe me when I say, If I can do it, you can do it.
*Raises hand* guilty!!! And my sweet daughter is paying for it. Why? Because she got my anxious, worried, "what if" disposition. Over the last few years, I feel like I've been going through a roller coaster. Different things... finances (one income family in Southern California), friends, depression, health issues, blended family struggles, weight, anxiety. Just to name some of the biggies.
I've been trying to turn Isabella's thinking into "what if things could go right" instead of wrong. For example, she's having a really hard time with the unexpected in kindergarten, library day can literally send her into what I can only describe as an anxiety attack in her tiny little body. And so instead of "what if... something totally scary to her... like sitting on the rug in the library" I'm trying to spin it to "What if you have fun! What if you find a cool book. What if it's the best day ever... etc." She does have the "what if monster" book, and we love that! I just love books that illustrate teachable moments!
And through her struggle, I'm realizing I need this in my own life. I'm so darn worrisome, introverted. Yesterday I met with a coach on my team... we've "known" each other through social media for a year, but never actually met. It was such a huge step for me to actually meet up and have coffee together! It may not seem like a big thing to someone normal, haha, but to an introvert, this is huge. I'm all overcoming struggles over here left and right! Eventually, I'll get really brave an post a LIVE video on Facebook ... that's my next goal. My coaching career is doing BIG things in my life. And if I can do this, you can do this.
Do you let the "what if monster" take the wheel? Or do you have a handle on the "what ifs" and focus on what could go right?
Sometimes, I'm reminded that even though I think I'm a hot mess, my family really thinks I'm superwoman. Now, I could let this annoy me, their unrealistic expectations of my abilities, or I could take it as a compliment.
The scenario: its Sunday morning, 6:45. I've slept in... yes, 6:45 on a Sunday is sleeping in. Take a moment to let the gravity of that really sink in... and remember that I'm not a morning person!
So, I get up, hubby is sleeping in a bit longer. I make my daughter breakfast, nurse my son, make some coffee (thank God that He gave someone the knowledge to create this Heavenly Elixir) and start making a breakfast casserole for after church. You see, my husband, Ben, enjoys really tasty breakfast on the weekends.
Then, I head upstairs to shower and get ready, baby in tow! I get Isabella ready, bathe Nixon and get him ready and I'm trying to get myself ready too. Nixon decides, as he usually does, that he would like to be held. So as I'm holding him, attempting to do my makeup, realizing that we have ten minutes until we need to get our butts in the car so I will be sporting my "wet hair" look, my husband asks if I can iron his shirt. I mean really? So many choice responses going through my head. And of course each one is sarcastic. I'm holding my son, doing my makeup, can I iron your shirt too? No, I cannot. I only have two hands. I did tell him I cannot, I am a woman who knows her limits, afterall!
And that's when I realized it. My family thinks I'm flipping amazing! What Mom can do all that?! Apparently, me!!!
I do so love that my family relies on me to care for them. And that they think I have magical superpowers. I wonder what super powers I'll be displaying this week?
I have been failing miserably at working out. The queen of "how to find the time" couldn't find the time. Or the motivation. I think some people think I love working out. I don't. Gasp! I really don't love it. I love the way it makes me feel. I love the way it makes me look. I love the health benefits. I never regret a workout. But I don't jump outta bed ready to pump iron. I regret not working out. And that regret has been taking a toll.
So my game plan was, workout in the morning when Nixon takes his nap and Isabella's at school. Fail! I wasn't doing it. I was barely getting in 3 workouts a week. And that was even because Health Bet required it. I was trying to stay accountable, cause whatever I ask of my challengers, I better be doing too!!! But I was failing. No sleep & bigger priorities were taking up my time. Clean house anyone?! But geez, if I don't make my health a priority, who the heck will?
Then, I realized, I was missing my accountability partner. Isabella!!! This girl LOVES working out with me. She'll often ask me to workout, and lately she's been telling me she misses working out with me.
Lightbulb! It's been a little difficult for her and I to get quality time lately. Don't get me wrong, she's a priority, and I've been working on making her even more of a priority than I had been. But I've got an infant who needs me all the time. Then she needs me too, but in a different way.
Can we say MOM GUILT any louder?
So yea, my workout partner is a 5 year old. She's probably better at accountability than I am! And we are going to try to make this an after school thing everyday! My ME time just turned into US time. And I think this could be the best idea ever.
Try it with your kids. Don't feel like you're taking time away from them to get to your workout, involve them. Maybe they'll love it as much as my little partner does.
How do you guys spread yourselves between your kids? Isabella's been the only one for years, from 8-3, it's just her and I. Quality time. And now we don't have that. It's messing us both up!
Long read. And some personal junk here. But I'm all for being real with myself.
Momming is hard. There, I said it. I love my children with a fire in my soul, but man, it's hard. It's thankless. It's not glamorous. It's long days followed by sleepless nights. It's a "coffee is REQUIRED" lifestyle. It means I always come, 2nd? No, more like 10th. It's trying to talk to your husband but feeling like you have Tourette's and distracting from the conversation every 32 seconds. It's having someone literally attached to you, always.
Now is it the most rewarding thing ever? Hell yes. Would I trade it for anything in the entire world, no way. Do I absolutely love being a stay at home and absolutely refuse to go back to work, uh yes! My children mean everything to me. I wouldn't want to miss a single moment. So I'm glad they are literally attached to me!
But I will say this, I'm so glad that I have my health business. It's something for ME. It actually forces me to get out of my introverted ways and talk to people. You guys, if I didn't have that, I would just be sitting over here in a little hole, 10th in line to everything! It forces me to eat well. Forces me to workout. Forces me to take care of myself. And when I say "force," this isn't a bad thing. How many people think talking to people, eating well, and working out is bad? No one. But how many introverts would totally shy away from these things if given the opportunity? Probably 90% of us. I would never talk to a soul!
The conversations I get to have with actual adults, about actual things that matter, thank you to my business for that! I look so forward to speaking with like minded people!! I look so forward to sharing my passion with people! And hearing their passions! And giving this GIFT of health and fitness to people who, without home workouts, wouldn't have another way to get it! Cause before I was introduced to this thing, I didn't EVER make it to a gym. I was a HOT MESS! I didn't have a passion, I didn't have a purpose, I sat in my hole, I didn't talk to anyone, I wasn't healthy (omg not in the least!) I was wasting the gifts that God gave me. I was wasting my life and my children's lives. Seriously you guys, I couldn't keep up with my girl. We didn't even play. I never went to the park. I could barely chase her up the stairs I was so unhealthy. When I think back on it, it's just gross. I was a grumpy, frumpy, bump on a log. Pretending to be someone else. Anyone but myself. The loathing was something I kept secret from everyone. But you can't keep secrets from God.
Thank GOD that He brought this opportunity to me. It has impacted my life and my children's lives immeasurably.
I was asked yesterday to imagine my life without Beachbody, if Beachbody went away. And I won't say I can't imagine it and give you a bunch of froo froo language about how I can't even picture my life without this amazing opportunity... cause I can picture my life. I've been there. It's not a pretty place. I won't go back. Keep moving forward!
So how did this introvert chick actually say yes to something new? Well, I'm a people pleaser too! I hate to offend people (there's a painful backstory to that). And I totally offended a friend of mine who was a coach. Had been a coach for years. She made a post that said "how can I help you with fitness?" And I commented that it would be nice to get free workouts, 30 minute workouts no less, so that I didn't have to buy a program from that Beachbody company. Uh, she was a coach for Beachbody. She used these "programs" as tools to bring fitness to people. I didn't know that! I didn't even know she was a Beachbody coach. I didn't even know what the heck a coach was. I thought coaches were just people who bragged about having a "beach body." Like they were somehow endorsed by this company as being perfectly shaped. You send in your pic and they say "yup, you look good." I hadn't taken the time to actually read her posts, I scrolled on by even though this friend meant something to me.
I was so EMBARRASSED, I felt so dumb, and I felt like such a jerk that I joined her new "challenge group" so as not to be such a jerk. And really the $60 to buy a program was NOTHING compared to what that group and that program gave me. The girl wasn't trying to sell me on anything, she was trying to give me a gift. And that she did. And the rest is history!
Sometimes God allows you to make an idiot of yourself to bring something better to you that you would never do on your own!
I bet you didn't realize the two went together? In my house, they do. You see, my handsome husband is one of those *morning people* and how we ended up married, well I guess opposites attract. I couldn't be further from a morning person! You know what morning people like? Breakfast. And you know when? Early. Cause they've already been up for hours come 9am.
Another one? Okay, why not, then back to my story!
So, since my little guy takes after his daddy, he wakes up at 4:30... every flipping morning. He's not quite awake though, he's just stirring around. But I cannot sleep because he needs to be upright and patted on the back to remain asleep. So I decided, instead of trying to sleep sitting up and while patting, whatever, I'm just going to get up and get some work done. I'm not sure how long I can keep it up, since little dude is also waking 4-5 times in the 6 hours he's been asleep, but we'll see how long I can function on this kind of sleep pattern.
So anyhow, talk about a "power hour!" Today, I got fed up with the incessant patting and stirring and at 5:30 I just went downstairs. I'm working my biz in peace and quiet until the hubster and daughter wake just after 7. Felt pretty good to get my work done early, shhh, do not tell a soul that I said that. I'm afraid I might be labeled a morning person! When my family woke up, I didn't have anything to do but serve them. Got my baby girl some chocolate almond milk, her morning *special drink* as she calls it (as coffee is mine!) and started making my husband some coffee.
He comes downstairs and is AMAZED. I got up before him, (he's says that's NEVER happened in our 8 years together) I'm making coffee for him, and I've got breakfast in the works. He's all huggie and sweet to me, you see, he's an Acts of Service guy. I just made him feel totally loved. And while I had blender muffins on the agenda for breakfast, I know my guy, he wants a hearty meal. Would it kill me to throw together a little veggie scramble to go with it? Nope, it wouldn't.
And for the first time in, forever, (Frozen fans, you know you just sang that) I was invited to go on a morning walk with him, our kids, and our pup. And me, I'm a Quality Time gal. So the offer made my heart soar. Did I go? Actually, I totally failed and declined so I could get a shower. Cause moms, you know if there's a chance for a kid free shower, that's like being at a spa. But I appreciated the offer, and I kicked myself a little, next time, I'll go.
Acts of service and quality time are two of the 5 Love Languages. If you and your spouse haven't looked into it, you totally should. Basically, we each have a language that we speak in terms of love. For example, hubby is acts of service, he feels love when being served, or being taken care of. He also shows love this way. You show love in the way you receive love. So for him, making me breakfast and changing the oil in my car, these are lovey things. But guess what, I'm quality time. So I feel love (and show love) through quality time. The reason to figure out your spouse's language, is so that you "speak" to your spouse and show him love using the right language. It doesn't come naturally to me to use acts of service to show love, it comes natural for me to use quality time, but that's not how he feels love, get it? If you want to take the quiz, there's a free version here! I would love to hear how you and your spouse stack up!
Some days, I've really got my sh*t together. I feel like superwoman on those day!
1. Running errands
2. Nixon's dr appt
This took me from 8-11 and then I picked Bella up from school.
3. Play date for Bella at my house
4. Nixon is sleeping! Hallelujah
5. Prepped dinner
6. Dessert is in the CROCK POT! <-- remember how much I love crock pots!! I'll post the dessert in my clean eating crock pot group that starts next Wednesday, lemme know if you want to join!
7. Cleaned the house
8. Sent out the first batch of invitations to my FREE YOGA group! <--- you can join that one too!
9. It's only 2:20
10. Did I mention I've been up since 4am?
11. Time to go Namaste with my Yoga workout!
Clearly tomorrow will be a hot mess!!! Isn't that how it goes!? Fortunately, I work when I want, how I want, where I want!
PS- how cute is my son?!
Okay, okay, this is not the first but the second time in a a very short time frame that God has led me to this lesson.
When the world tells you to fight back, Jesus tells you to love back. Powerful isn't it? You can apply it to so many areas of life, but I think it comes in handy when we are thinking of our marriage.
Sometimes, we just want to be mad, right? We love him more than life but at this moment we don't like what he has to say, we don't like his opinion, we sure as heck don't want his help, we won't admit he's right (never!), and we just say "I'm fine" when asked by him how we are doing.
Ladies, you know when you say "I'm fine" you're anything but. He knows it too. (They've figured out the code, it's time to just fess up!) Instead of grinding our heels into the ground, maybe we can soften and lean into him instead of pulling away. He's probably got just what you need, even if you are resistant to hear it. Go hug the man, you know you adore him.
Oh, and if he tells you that you're being a pain in the butt. You're probably being a pain in the butt.
1 Peter 3: 1-7
Paraphrased in the way I read it... Your husband should be able to see God through you. Your unfading beauty should come from a gentle and quiet spirit.
When your husband looks at you, does he see God? I've been asking myself this for the past couple weeks and it's doing good for me. I hope it helps you too. Life's too short to be mad over dumb stuff... And really, whatever "it" is, it's probably dumb all things considered!
Living the dream, and feeling worthy enough to have dreams!
You might not get it, and that's okay, neither did I. I didn't get it, that people actually get their life's desires by helping other people. That people actually have a fire and passion for helping others get happy.
That people actually live for this.
But it's true. Coaches are not salespeople. We don't sell products. We don't work for Beachbody. We don't work for Shakeology. We actually get our kicks from seeing our friends, family, complete strangers feel better from the inside out. We work for our own passion, and you can hardly even call it work when you love what you do and when you reach goals by doing the things that make you a better person.
There are good people in this world. They are called coaches. So while it may be totally silly or even annoying that I post my selfies, my recipes, my Bible verses, my inspiration for my own life, that's okay. I thought it was silly too. I thought it was annoying. I thought it was quite presumptuous as a matter of fact, that this coach person thinks they can come into my life with a DVD and a drink and be all "I can help you make your life magical." Pffft, weird right?
But now I realize, that's just what we do! And if you haven't tried it out, you just don't get it. It's like this healthy and happy person club, until you're in it, you don't know the secret handshake!
If I've inspired just one person to become healthy, to have fun with it, to live longer for their children, I win. This is more than a job. It's a purpose, a calling. It's making dreams into reality. And I get to do it from home, with my children in tow, on my own time. For real?!?! YES. It is real. I'm living it. Lucky lady, but luck has nothing to do with it. I believed in myself enough to take a chance.
So what happened when I took the chance? Well, I became one of these coach people... I learned the secret handshake... These people, they live to help you live better. To help you feel better. To help you look better. And then, something happens... When you're the coach, YOU live better. You stop going through the motions, thinking that you can't have dreams and goals, you stop telling yourself that you'll be working a 9-5 for someone else your whole life, that you'll leave your kids with a stranger, that said stranger will raise them, that you won't be there for bedtime stories, kisses on scraped knees, morning snuggles and UNSCHEDULED time, that you won't ever make it to Hawaii, that you won't ever retire, or retire your husband. You'll be be working your whole lives and never really spend time together.
You just stop telling yourself that, because it's not true. Life isn't about going through the motions until you keel over and go be with Jesus. As amazing as Heaven will be, you aren't there yet! You were put on this Earth to do more than go through the motions. You like to be healthy and to eat and live well, and you also have a gift of sharing health with others, how joyous do you think the King is that you've taken the gifts He's handed you and actually used them?!? ANYONE has this gift. THAT is what being a coach is. Feeling worthy enough to have dreams, working for them, helping people.
I'm in the best place I've ever been in my life. And it's so darn simple. I never knew before I tried it. How infectious it is to help people. How awesome it makes ME feel. That's living the dream. That's coaching.
