September 20, 2016

Past lives


Long read. And some personal junk here. But I'm all for being real with myself. 

Momming is hard. There, I said it. I love my children with a fire in my soul, but man, it's hard. It's thankless. It's not glamorous. It's long days followed by sleepless nights. It's a "coffee is REQUIRED" lifestyle. It means I always come, 2nd? No, more like 10th. It's trying to talk to your husband but feeling like you have Tourette's and distracting from the conversation every 32 seconds. It's having someone literally attached to you, always. 

Now is it the most rewarding thing ever? Hell yes. Would I trade it for anything in the entire world, no way. Do I absolutely love being a stay at home and absolutely refuse to go back to work, uh yes! My children mean everything to me. I wouldn't want to miss a single moment. So I'm glad they are literally attached to me! 

But I will say this, I'm so glad that I have my health business. It's something for ME. It actually forces me to get out of my introverted ways and talk to people. You guys, if I didn't have that, I would just be sitting over here in a little hole, 10th in line to everything! It forces me to eat well. Forces me to workout. Forces me to take care of myself. And when I say "force," this isn't a bad thing. How many people think talking to people, eating well, and working out is bad? No one. But how many introverts would totally shy away from these things if given the opportunity? Probably 90% of us. I would never talk to a soul! 

The conversations I get to have with actual adults, about actual things that matter, thank you to my business for that! I look so forward to speaking with like minded people!! I look so forward to sharing my passion with people! And hearing their passions! And giving this GIFT of health and fitness to people who, without home workouts, wouldn't have another way to get it! Cause before I was introduced to this thing, I didn't EVER make it to a gym. I was a HOT MESS! I didn't have a passion, I didn't have a purpose, I sat in my hole, I didn't talk to anyone, I wasn't healthy (omg not in the least!) I was wasting the gifts that God gave me. I was wasting my life and my children's lives. Seriously you guys, I couldn't keep up with my girl. We didn't even play. I never went to the park. I could barely chase her up the stairs I was so unhealthy. When I think back on it, it's just gross. I was a grumpy, frumpy, bump on a log. Pretending to be someone else. Anyone but myself. The loathing was something I kept secret from everyone. But you can't keep secrets from God. 

Thank GOD that He brought this opportunity to me. It has impacted my life and my children's lives immeasurably. 

I was asked yesterday to imagine my life without Beachbody, if Beachbody went away. And I won't say I can't imagine it and give you a bunch of froo froo language about how I can't even picture my life without this amazing opportunity... cause I can picture my life. I've been there. It's not a pretty place. I won't go back. Keep moving forward! 

So how did this introvert chick actually say yes to something new? Well, I'm a people pleaser too! I hate to offend people (there's a painful backstory to that). And I totally offended a friend of mine who was a coach. Had been a coach for years. She made a post that said "how can I help you with fitness?" And I commented that it would be nice to get free workouts, 30 minute workouts no less, so that I didn't have to buy a program from that Beachbody company. Uh, she was a coach  for Beachbody. She used these "programs" as tools to bring fitness to people. I didn't know that! I didn't even know she was a Beachbody coach. I didn't even know what the heck a coach was. I thought coaches were just people who bragged about having a "beach body." Like they were somehow endorsed by this company as being perfectly shaped. You send in your pic and they say "yup, you look good." I hadn't taken the time to actually read her posts, I scrolled on by even though this friend meant something to me. 

I was so EMBARRASSED, I felt so dumb, and I felt like such a jerk that I joined her new "challenge group" so as not to be such a jerk. And really the $60 to buy a program was NOTHING compared to what that group and that program gave me. The girl wasn't trying to sell me on anything, she was trying to give me a gift. And that she did. And the rest is history! 

Sometimes God allows you to make an idiot of yourself to bring something better to you that you would never do on your own! 

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